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Crazy Love, by Leslie Morgan Steiner
PDF Download Crazy Love, by Leslie Morgan Steiner
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At 22, Leslie Morgan Steiner seemed to have it all: a Harvard diploma, a glamorous job at Seventeen magazine, a downtown New York City apartment. Plus a handsome, funny, street-smart boyfriend who adored her. But behind her fa�ade of success, this golden girl hid a dark secret. She’d made a mistake shared by millions: she fell in love with the wrong person.
At first Leslie and Conor seemed as perfect together as their fairy-tale wedding. Then came the fights she tried to ignore: he pushed her down the stairs of the house they bought together, poured coffee grinds over her hair as she dressed for a critical job interview, choked her during an argument, and threatened her with a gun.�Several times, he came close to making good on his threat to kill her.�With each attack, Leslie lost another piece of herself.
Gripping and utterly compelling, Crazy Love takes you inside the violent, devastating world of abusive love. Conor said he’d been abused since he was a young boy, and love and rage danced intimately together in his psyche. Why didn’t Leslie leave?�She stayed because she loved him. Find out for yourself if she had fallen truly in love – or into a psychological trap. Crazy Love will draw you in -- and never let go.
- Sales Rank: #192481 in Books
- Published on: 2009-03-31
- Released on: 2009-03-31
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.56" h x 1.17" w x 5.78" l, .96 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 336 pages
From Booklist
As a young editor at Seventeen magazine, recovering from a history of alcoholism that permeated her family, Steiner met a man she thought was a knight in shining armor. Handsome and charming, Conor had a more troubled background than her own, raised in poverty in Boston by an abusive mother. Deep in vulnerability and denial, she let down her defenses and justified every time he struck her, even as he got progressively more violent. She gave up her magazine job and moved with Conor to a small town in Vermont and later to Chicago, where they both pursued MBAs. Along the way, she took on financial and emotional debt as Conor became increasingly more demanding and violent. He nearly killed her before she found the strength to admit to herself and others what was going on. Steiner, author of the acclaimed anthology Mommy Wars (2006), offers readers a courageous and revealing look at domestic abuse and one woman’s effort to free herself. --Vanessa Bush
Review
“Compulsively readable.” –People (3 � stars)
�
“[Readers will] cheer as Steiner… slowly regains her sense of self and escapes this crazy love.” –The Washington Post
�
“In steady, intimate prose punctuated by surprising, refreshing streaks of humor… this courageous, empowering survival story brings the phrase ‘battered woman’ into terrifying focus.” –Kirkus
�
"A courageous and revealing look at domestic abuse and one woman’s effort to free herself." --Booklist
�
"Harrowing." --TheDailyBeast.com
�
“Riveting… An elegant stylist, Morgan eschews the easy pop psychology route in favor of a thought-provoking peek into how violence and abuse curdle into distorted thinking.” –Minneapolis Star Tribune
“In this gripping, compulsively readable story of romantic love and its dreadful underside, Leslie Morgan Steiner has written a classic. What makes love turn to violence?� How can a woman know she is at risk? These are some of the questions elegantly addressed in Steiner’s important book about how she survived a marriage which almost killed her.� Her painful journey from love to fear to sanity is ultimately heartening and serves a profound lesson.� This book should be required reading for all women." -- Susan Cheever
“Crazy Love reminds us that sometimes a marriage can go from being a mere skirmish in the battle of the sexes to becoming a full-on physical war.� The book stands as a warning to all women to be vigilant when they pick their spouses, to always have an exit strategy in mind, to know where the money in the marriage is, to pick up as much education as possible – all for the possible day when they may find themselves battered, broke, terrified and alone.� It can happen to anyone, and every woman should prepare herself for it.” -- Carolyn See, author of�Making a Literary Life
"A harrowing cautionary tale that should be read by every�woman who thinks romantic love can overcome all.�I read this book in one terrifying gulp and plan to have my daughter read it. Every mother should do the same." -- Elsa Walsh, staff writer for The New Yorker and author of� Divided Lives
“After a few moments of disbelief—how could a nice girl from� a nice family marry such a cruel and dangerous man?—I found myself cheering for this woman who gets off the floor—literally—and goes on to save her own life.� Crazy Love is a deeply affecting account of cruelty and abuse in a marriage doomed from the start.� It is a reminder that while bad behavior can be explained it can never be excused, and that while placing blame is rarely useful, letting go is.� Leslie Morgan Steiner’s candor is wrenching and ultimately inspiring.” -- Jane Juska, author of Unaccompanied Women and A Round-Heeled Woman
"Leslie Morgan Steiner has written a memoir that is as seductive as a whirlwind romance. This is a book for every woman -- and man -- who has ever felt, as Steiner writes, that ‘leaving was easy. The hard part was figuring out where to go.’" -- Veronica Chambers, author, Mama's Girl
“Bright, beautiful and battered.� Leslie Morgan Steiner didn’t think of herself as a victim until it was almost too late. Hers is a success story that shows how excruciating a declaration of independence can be and how much happiness can come from it.� Read it and cheer.” -- George Lardner, author of The Stalking of Kristin and winner of the Pulitzer Prize for his Washington Post series investigating his daughter’s murder by her ex-boyfriend�
"Most love is crazy -- at first, it's that can't eat, can't sleep feeling. Then it moves into a comfortable, warm, hopefully, still sexy state. Leslie Morgan Steiner shows us with wrenching clarity when crazy is good and when crazy is something you need to leave. A must read for anyone in a consuming relationship." -- Iris Krasnow, author of New York Times bestseller, Surrendering to Marriage
“If you've ever read your daughter the story of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, you should make sure she knows the story Leslie Morgan Steiner tells in Crazy Love, too. This book is for every woman who's ever thought, "I can change him. He'll change for me"—and who hasn't thought that? Steiner's tale unfolds with all the harrowing inevitability of a horror movie, the kind where you watch the heroine start down the dark staircase to the basement with your heart pounding as you whisper, ‘No! Don't do it! Don't!’
That such a smart, kind, funny, vital woman could let herself be victimized this way seems almost unimaginable—and yet Steiner makes you understand how it came to pass, and even appreciate, with a sort of disgusted awe, how expertly her husband manipulates her aching insecurities and longing for that great big happily-ever-after love we learn about in fairy tales. That she comes out the other side is miraculous. That she's brave enough to tell this frank and brutal story is, too.” -- Sandy Hingston, “Loco Parentis” columnist for Philadelphia Magazine and author of The Affair
“A vivid and compelling story that goes a long way to dispelling the myth that women who are abused by men are in some way at fault.� This book will be cherished by any woman who has ever been in the grip of an abusive relationship.” -- Jane Bernstein, author of Bereft:A Sister’s Story and Rachel in the World
“Steiner's brave, insightful memoir reveals how independent and capable women can find themselves trapped in violent relationships.� More important,�she shows�that women can�find their way out of abusive relationships.��Her absorbing story will inspire every reader.� To a reader with an abusive partner, it may well save her life. -- Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, psychotherapist and author of Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce
“Leslie Morgan Steiner pulls no punches in this brutally honest memoir of a brave, smart, fresh-faced young woman’s descent into domestic hell.��Domestic violence isn’t picky and it doesn’t only happen to “other people.”�All of us are vulnerable.� Her story is proof that love can come on so strong it can kill you.� Steiner’s good news? Sometimes the end of the world is actually the very beginning.” -- Monica Holloway, author of Driving With Dead People and Cowboy and Wills
“Leslie Morgan Steiner is the bravest woman I know. Not only did she save her own life, but now she has --opened her heart to save countless others. As one who has hidden to avoid the humiliation of a fat lip, I know how hard that can be.� Crazy Love recounts the sad, sentimental journey that destroys the myth of physical abuse - that it doesn’t happen to nice girls, or smart girls, or anyone you know.� Steiner’s vivid prose paints a clear picture of how it started, why she let it continue, and how she escaped to tell the tale.� Crazy Love sets the record straight: love can be a four letter word.” --Leslie Lehr, author of Wife Goes On
"I read this book in one night. Crazy Love is a gripping, beautifully crafted and above all a painfully honest account of�a woman (who by all accounts doesn't look the type)�grappling with an abusive relationship. If you've ever been there or�heard about a woman dealing with this situation and wondered, "why'd she stay?" read Leslie's unselfconscious account. Now I understand. Read Crazy Love and you will too." --Stefanie Wilder-Taylor, author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay
"Leslie Morgan Steiner has written a deeply compelling, brutally honest and important book about her relationship with a man who abused her, emotionally and physically.� I couldn't put it down.�� It's a must-read for anyone who has been there or knows someone who has -- or just wonders how it happens.� Most importantly, Leslie's own life offers living, breathing proof that women can not only break these destructive bonds, but move on to build successful marriages, families and careers." --Dee Dee Myers, author of Why Women Should Rule the World
Review
“Compulsively readable.” –People (3 � stars)
�
“[Readers will] cheer as Steiner… slowly regains her sense of self and escapes this crazy love.” –The Washington Post
�
“In steady, intimate prose punctuated by surprising, refreshing streaks of humor… this courageous, empowering survival story brings the phrase ‘battered woman’ into terrifying focus.” –Kirkus
�
"A courageous and revealing look at domestic abuse and one woman’s effort to free herself." --Booklist
�
"Harrowing." --TheDailyBeast.com
�
“Riveting… An elegant stylist, Morgan eschews the easy pop psychology route in favor of a thought-provoking peek into how violence and abuse curdle into distorted thinking.” –Minneapolis Star Tribune
“In this gripping, compulsively readable story of romantic love and its dreadful underside, Leslie Morgan Steiner has written a classic. What makes love turn to violence?� How can a woman know she is at risk? These are some of the questions elegantly addressed in Steiner’s important book about how she survived a marriage which almost killed her.� Her painful journey from love to fear to sanity is ultimately heartening and serves a profound lesson.� This book should be required reading for all women." -- Susan Cheever
“Crazy Love reminds us that sometimes a marriage can go from being a mere skirmish in the battle of the sexes to becoming a full-on physical war.� The book stands as a warning to all women to be vigilant when they pick their spouses, to always have an exit strategy in mind, to know where the money in the marriage is, to pick up as much education as possible – all for the possible day when they may find themselves battered, broke, terrified and alone.� It can happen to anyone, and every woman should prepare herself for it.” -- Carolyn See, author of�Making a Literary Life
"A harrowing cautionary tale that should be read by every�woman who thinks romantic love can overcome all.�I read this book in one terrifying gulp and plan to have my daughter read it. Every mother should do the same." -- Elsa Walsh, staff writer for The New Yorker and author of� Divided Lives
“After a few moments of disbelief—how could a nice girl from� a nice family marry such a cruel and dangerous man?—I found myself cheering for this woman who gets off the floor—literally—and goes on to save her own life.� Crazy Love is a deeply affecting account of cruelty and abuse in a marriage doomed from the start.� It is a reminder that while bad behavior can be explained it can never be excused, and that while placing blame is rarely useful, letting go is.� Leslie Morgan Steiner’s candor is wrenching and ultimately inspiring.” -- Jane Juska, author of Unaccompanied Women and A Round-Heeled Woman
"Leslie Morgan Steiner has written a memoir that is as seductive as a whirlwind romance. This is a book for every woman -- and man -- who has ever felt, as Steiner writes, that ‘leaving was easy. The hard part was figuring out where to go.’" -- Veronica Chambers, author, Mama's Girl
“Bright, beautiful and battered.� Leslie Morgan Steiner didn’t think of herself as a victim until it was almost too late. Hers is a success story that shows how excruciating a declaration of independence can be and how much happiness can come from it.� Read it and cheer.” -- George Lardner, author of The Stalking of Kristin and winner of the Pulitzer Prize for his Washington Post series investigating his daughter’s murder by her ex-boyfriend�
"Most love is crazy -- at first, it's that can't eat, can't sleep feeling. Then it moves into a comfortable, warm, hopefully, still sexy state. Leslie Morgan Steiner shows us with wrenching clarity when crazy is good and when crazy is something you need to leave. A must read for anyone in a consuming relationship." -- Iris Krasnow, author of New York Times bestseller, Surrendering to Marriage
“If you've ever read your daughter the story of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, you should make sure she knows the story Leslie Morgan Steiner tells in Crazy Love, too. This book is for every woman who's ever thought, "I can change him. He'll change for me"—and who hasn't thought that? Steiner's tale unfolds with all the harrowing inevitability of a horror movie, the kind where you watch the heroine start down the dark staircase to the basement with your heart pounding as you whisper, ‘No! Don't do it! Don't!’
That such a smart, kind, funny, vital woman could let herself be victimized this way seems almost unimaginable—and yet Steiner makes you understand how it came to pass, and even appreciate, with a sort of disgusted awe, how expertly her husband manipulates her aching insecurities and longing for that great big happily-ever-after love we learn about in fairy tales. That she comes out the other side is miraculous. That she's brave enough to tell this frank and brutal story is, too.” -- Sandy Hingston, “Loco Parentis” columnist for Philadelphia Magazine and author of The Affair
“A vivid and compelling story that goes a long way to dispelling the myth that women who are abused by men are in some way at fault.� This book will be cherished by any woman who has ever been in the grip of an abusive relationship.” -- Jane Bernstein, author of Bereft:A Sister’s Story and Rachel in the World
“Steiner's brave, insightful memoir reveals how independent and capable women can find themselves trapped in violent relationships.� More important,�she shows�that women can�find their way out of abusive relationships.��Her absorbing story will inspire every reader.� To a reader with an abusive partner, it may well save her life. -- Elisabeth Joy LaMotte, psychotherapist and author of Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce
“Leslie Morgan Steiner pulls no punches in this brutally honest memoir of a brave, smart, fresh-faced young woman’s descent into domestic hell.��Domestic violence isn’t picky and it doesn’t only happen to “other people.”�All of us are vulnerable.� Her story is proof that love can come on so strong it can kill you.� Steiner’s good news? Sometimes the end of the world is actually the very beginning.” -- Monica Holloway, author of Driving With Dead People and Cowboy and Wills
“Leslie Morgan Steiner is the bravest woman I know. Not only did she save her own life, but now she has --opened her heart to save countless others. As one who has hidden to avoid the humiliation of a fat lip, I know how hard that can be.� Crazy Love recounts the sad, sentimental journey that destroys the myth of physical abuse - that it doesn’t happen to nice girls, or smart girls, or anyone you know.� Steiner’s vivid prose paints a clear picture of how it started, why she let it continue, and how she escaped to tell the tale.� Crazy Love sets
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Courageous Story but...
By Nancy Sipple
This book is impossible to put down. I read it in one sitting. However, it fell short for me on some insight I was looking for. I survived an abusive 12+year marriage which I left 35 years ago. Years of therapy have helped, but I still struggle with a kind of PTSD phenomenon that comes and goes even after all this time. Yes, she bravely, painfully escapes, he apparently moves on with little fuss, she ends her story happily re-married with another great job and children. But she tells nothing of her healing process in between. She didn't have to go through the stalking, terrorizing and escalation of abuse after leaving like I did and which is so common. But there still must have been some time (years?) of confusion, guilt, shame, embarrassment, denial, hurt, loss of trust, difficulty dealing with family and friends, etc.. I was hoping to read more about that. Steiner is a good writer; I need a sequel!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Insightful Account Into One Woman's Story of Domestic Violence
By Starry4455
I'm saddened by the number of negative and stereotypical comments that come from nothing but ignorance on the subject of domestic violence that are posted against not only this book, but the author herself. I work with survivors of domestic violence and all too often we blame the victim for staying, or for falling in love with the abuser in the first place. We fail to see that the abusers don't present themselves in that way until the victim is already entangled in the relationship.
That said, I find this book to be a very open and honest portrayal of how relationships of domestic violence start and continue. I commend the Ms. Steiner for her willingness to share her story with the public so that we are able to see an inside picture of domestic violence. As she points out several times throughout her book, she is not the stereotyped "victim," which shows even more that domestic violence knows no bounds; it is not about color or socioeconomic status or education or any other factor that you want to throw in. It can happen to anyone.
If you are interested in seeing the dynamics of a violent relationship, I highly recommend this book. Throughout the story we can see Ms. Steiner evolve from a naive young woman looking for love and caught in a web of confusion to a sophisticated woman who knows her own worth and has her own voice. She gives us insight into many different factors that contribute to how a woman can fall victim to domestic violence and why she would stay.
I caution people to keep an open mind when reading the book and to remember, it is not a scripted story, but rather an autobiography of one woman's life and experience. Hindsight is always 20/20, and a judgmental attitude while reading will leave you disappointed if you expected it to go like a work of fiction rather than truth.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Good book with problems
By Lara Sterling
I read this book in about a day. It was a good story -- a fast read -- and the author is definitely a good writer. I thought that the author was very honest, including information about her childhood, during which the insecurities were created that would ultimately make her accept being abused by her husband.
I had one big problem with this book: the constant referencing to Harvard. Perhaps it was that the author was trying to remind us that even a girl, who grew up rich and who was smart enough to get into Harvard, could also become a victim of domestic abuse. However, the continual Harvard name dropping had the opposite effect for me: reading the book felt like the author herself was trying to prove to her own mind that she was somehow still worthy -- she went to Harvard goddammit! We already learned in the 80s that domestic abuse has nothing to do with class or race -- it crosses all boundaries. So why not just let us know at the beginning of the book that the author went to Harvard, and then be done with it? Instead, the effect of continually reminding me where she attended college distanced me from the book, as if the book was only for Ivy League graduates. My advice to the author is to put more trust in her material: the story is good enough without constantly reminding the reader of her (and her family's) Harvard status and high social ranking. The author would have gotten the same job done with perhaps just a couple of mentions, not with a mention on every other page.
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