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My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory, by Cooper S Beckett
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Beginning on a first date with a couple of swingers, followed by working through social anxiety and shyness, recognizing the importance of touch in life, evolving feelings about love and expectations, having threesomes, orgies, and prostate orgasms, going through a divorce, and leveling up in life and sexuality.
For six years, Cooper S. Beckett has written for Life on the Swingset, a website born out of the feeling that he’d learned enough in his whole year of swinging to tell other people how to live their non-monogamous lives. His hubris can be seen from space. From that writing he has collected personal essays, stories, erotica, and prescriptive “how-tos” into this memoir of his life on The Swingset.
He may be biased when it comes to swinging, polyamory, and other forms of ethical non-monogamy (in fact, he most certainly is) but he doesn’t sugar-coat it. He speaks honestly and earnestly about a unique way to live life, one that allows for sexual and loving growth and experimentation, a strong sense of community, and the ability to do what we all crave, whether we know it or not: Be honest with ourselves and others about what we want sexually. And out of life.
This second edition includes an excerpt from Beckett's novel A Life Less Monogamous.
"Cooper Beckett writes about non-monogamy, sex, love, and friendship with such honesty, wit, and charm, it's hard not to like this guy. He challenges the hard line between swinging and polyamory, tackles taboos with grace, and will make you rethink what you believe about relationships.”
- Tristan Taormino
"Lots of people talk about open relationships and non-monogamy, but few do it with as much clarity, compassion, humor, and intelligence as Cooper Beckett. He has lots of insight and wisdom to share, whether you’re just dipping your toes or you’ve been swimming in the deep end of open relationships. You won’t be disappointed."
- Charlie Glickman
"Kudos to Cooper Beckett for his delightful collection of essays regarding his exploration of non-traditional ways of being in relationship. He speaks from personal experience and shares all of it, the good and bad, the silly and transcendent, the harsh bumps and effortless glides, the highs and lows, the insights and cluelessness, the benefits and drawbacks, of choosing to love consciously in a culture that makes it hard to do so. Essential reading for anyone interested in all that is implied by the 'non' in 'non-monogamy.'"
- Nina Hartley
"Cooper Beckett goes old school gonzo in My Life On the Swingset as your tour guide of non-monogamy in this delightful and playful romp of a read. Fear & Loathing meets On The Road as Cooper gives you first hand debaucherous details about his trials and tribulations and ecstatic moments of exploration in the swinger lifestyle. Defining NRE, prostate orgasm, sexy safe sex, and basic etiquette while telling a charming story is not easy but this recovering Catholic boy gives it his gusto and the book is helpful as well as entertaining."
- Jackie Strano
"As I read My Life on the Swingset, I saw my own poly/non-monogamous relationship reflected and grew excited to share the book with my partner. I also thought 'Damn, I'd really like to meet this Cooper Beckett fella.' (And it's not often that I'm seduced by an author.) Expressive, honest, and often hilariously geeky, this collection of personal anecdotes on ethical non-monogamy is as enjoyable for the most jaded poly 'sexpert' as it is educational to the new swinger. My Life on the Swingset is the dirty cousin to The Ethical Slut. I can get with this."
- Jiz Lee
- Sales Rank: #912163 in Books
- Published on: 2015-01-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .91" w x 6.00" l, 1.10 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 364 pages
About the Author
The man in charge of Life on the Swingset, a website and podcast by and for the sexually open. In addition to writing for the site and hosting the weekly podcast about sexuality and non-monogamy, he travels the globe throwing play parties and teaching classes to help people open themselves up and color outside the lines of their sexuality.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A Fun First Person Account of Non-Monogamy & Swinging
By Karen Blue
My Life on the Swingset is a fun first person account of non-monogamy & swinging. Cooper S. Beckett is a fun writer who always includes wit and humor while keeping things honest. I enjoyed this series of articles about all things non-monogamy. Cooper has loads of advice for any couple curious about the lifestyle, and even had some new topics for the very experienced, like me, who has done/heard it all.
I really could relate to most of the issues Cooper tackled. He offered his experiences in first hand accounts. He talked about the good and the bad. His admittance to feeling like a rock star, or some sort of genius for figuring out how to make an open relationship work, were very relate-able. Although his view is from the male persuasion, he is a very open minded individual. I am so glad he penned his experiences. It was very refreshing to see such honest sexual exploration being described so openly with loads of tact.
The only problems I had with this book, and they are minimal, is that a newbie may not be ready to tackle such subjects in the order they are delivered. Chapter two jumps right into the double standard, and I thought that should have come later. Maybe more gushing over the ups before we get down to it and talk about the problems. Some people will never be ready to hear that, and it may turn off readers. He comes across, at times, as preaching that his lifestyle is the best and that will not be well received. (although, I completely agree with Cooper on this, I know that some people won’t. Let’s not forget that the recent show Neighbors with Benefits was cancelled because it wasn’t selling, even though it was more about voyeurism then actually swinging. Sex always sells, people were scared. That’s all.)
This is not an erotic novel about Cooper’s conquests. It is more an open dialog about what it means for him to be open sexually. He also includes what he and his wife Marilyn get out of it. Even today some of his topics will be seen as taboo, but it is my hope (and indeed his) that more conversation and sharing of information could occur before judgement is passed. One in seventy Americans identify themselves as swingers, on average. That number is small in my experience compared to the reality I know. It has become common to be more sexually open. I loved this book for the open and the curious. When you are ready, it is there for you to find.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
It is super entertaining and if you are one that is capable ...
By KayaBound
I do education and support in the polyamorous community and while this is not strictly a polyamory focused book there is enough in here for it to be one of the books I suggest most often for newcomers. Cooper is honest, blunt, and revealing. It is super entertaining and if you are one that is capable of learning from the mistakes of others, this book if for you. :) Or even if you just want a glimpse into a world that is foreign to you. Cooper makes it super accessible. He also has a novel, A Life Less Monogamous, that's a fun ride.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Honest and Personal, a must read...
By Invictuz
Honest, informative, inspirational, hilarious. Those are the words that come to mind after reading Cooper S. Beckett's collection of rants and essays, "My Life on the Swingest". I can relate, and picture the fun times. I appreciate the very personal approach. It is very refreshing to read a "how to" on non-monogamy in which the author readily admits to not being perfect. In fact, it is the imperfections that make the account so real and the read so approachable. It's so honest that Beckett readily admits to being changed by the journey. The experiences aren't there to prove a point or test a theory. He is living the life he writes about, and sharing the account.
It's hard to put down. Reads very smoothly and is brutally honest. It's a fun ride that is hilarious at times, sexy at times, and very personal all the time. You get an account of real- world swinging (and a little polyamory) from a guy who has been there, is still there, has done (almost) it all, made mistakes and still enjoys it. Not only do you read the account of adventures into S.O.P., but you'll also see the story of a typical "shy midwest guy" who becomes a powerful voice and a force in the sex-positive, Swinger, Open relationship and Poly communities, almost overnight. It's no wonder the acknowledgments and the positive comments read like a who's who of the Sex Educator/Sex Positive universe. I firmly believe that this work deserves a place in the library of any sex geek, sex educator, sex nerd, swinger, open, polyamorous, kink positive person and/or ally. It is a fun read and will be read more than once. Very much worth the effort. Also, worth the effort of sharing.
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